“Go to enough weddings and you realize that photographing one is like photographing the coin toss before a football game: Nothing’s actually happened yet.”
I love that observation.
It was from a photographer who wrote about revisiting some of the couples who had earlier hired him as their wedding photographer. Life had taken the partners through unexpected twists from the day they said “I do” to the day he followed up with them.
If you’re married, what would your wedding photographer write about your relationship now?
Love, like anything else worthwhile, requires patience and effort and practice. This is because marriage is always–always–a project conducted by two very flawed people. Denis de Rougemont said, “Why should neurotic, selfish, immature people suddenly become angels when they fall in love?”
They don’t, of course. Exchanging wedding rings is the beginning of a life-long project where two neurotic, selfish, immature people learn how express love in a language their partner can understand.
In Tim and Kathy Keller’s remarkable book, The Meaning of Marriage, they write:
It is not enough to simply say, “I love you.” Nor is it enough to give love to your spouse in the way to which you feel most accustomed. If you want to give a person $100, there are many ways to do so. You can give it in cash or by check or in gold or in kind. You can give it in different currencies. So you ask, “In which form do you want the hundred dollars?” In the same way you learn to give your spouse love in the way he or she finds most emotionally valuable and powerful. That is the only way to bring the remaking and healing power of love into your spouse’s life.
It reminds me of a line that runs like a thread through the silly, heart-warming film, The Princess Bride.
“As you wish.”
It was Westley’s way of telling Buttercup, “I love you,” expressing it in a language she could understand.
The Princess Bride has developed an avid fan base in the 27 years since it was released. Many of you can probably quote numerous lines from the quirky classic. It’s the latest film in my Movie Messages sermon series. Review with me what the Bible has to say about finding and keeping true love.